Etsy as Therapy

Well, yes.  I haven't written in quite a while.  Sadly, the reason is that my headaches have continued to be an issue.  Not only has this meant I haven't been thrifting, it also means I haven't been getting dressed in "real" clothes very often; I spend most days in t shirts and shorts.  I was actually excited to pull together an outfit today and yesterday, but the bedroom is in no shape for me to start taking pictures of myself again.

This does not mean, however, that I have made no purchases at all.  In fact, jewelery has been something that I have purchased a great deal of: With accessories, such as jewelry, you can see it online, judge the length, width, size, etc, and as long as you fit that measurement, you know it will look good!

The most exciting purchase has been my eternity ring, which I got ahead of our 10th Anniversary, which is next month.  I actually received it in April, and DH has received his (a different style) as well.  Unfortunately, he has to resize it (NOT our fault), but it is a lovely ring.  The ring I got was a narrow (2m) rounded yellow gold band, with 15 tiny white sapphires embedded inset into the gold, i.e., not channel set.  I personally am opposed to diamonds, although DH got diamonds (tiny ones, very discrete) in his ring. Anyway, here is mine: 

This ring seems so much prettier to me than the standard diamond channel set ones.   I love it, and I wear it on my ring finger with my wedding ring.   These days, because our anniversary is a month from tomorrow, I have also been wearing the ring DH got me for our 5th anniversary, a blue sapphire in a gold art-deco style setting.

Plus, this ring got me excited about white sapphires. Sapphires are my birthstone, and I know that they come in all colors, but I had never thought of white sapphires as a work around for my dislike for diamonds, which is based on my political beliefs.  And the quality of stones is better, because it is not as expensive a stone in the first place. 

This discovery had me digging around for white sapphire earrings.  My ears are very sensitive, and need good quality earrings in them as "retainers," so when I want to wear a base metal, I can get away with it for a day.  Then I immediately put good earrings back in again.  Well these are my current "retainer earrings," white sapphire studs: 

Now these were more "fine jewelry" purchases, which I admit to wanting because an engagement ring was not financially in the cards when DH and I were engaged.  I am so glad we didn't wait, but if we could have afforded one, I would have liked one.  So this is kind of my overcompensation for that.

Let me recommend Etsy for fine jewelry:  You don't have to pay the retail markup, and even though my ring is "fine jewelry," it cost about half of what it would at a "real" jewelry store.

The rest of my purchases were costume jewelry, including a lot of 50 bracelets I bought from the online shopgoodwill.com site.  That was like having a corner of a Goodwill shop in my home, and I found a lot of vintage, and even a couple of antique bracelets!  One of the antique bracelets I saw online for $125!

Aside from that one foray into the world of mixed lots, there have been many Etsy purchases.  I am Etsy's bitch.  It has almost been like I have been using purchases from Etsy to make me feel better about how lousy I feel so much of the time.  Well, actually, it isn't "like" it; I have definitely been using purchases to cheer me up.

One of Etsy shops that was not only the first store at which I made a purchase, but that I have returned to most often, is Wychbury, which is in the West Midlands of the UK.  I have purchased hair pins, brooches, necklaces, and bracelets, they just seem to feed into my obsessive anglophile-ism.  One recent purchase was called an "herbal tea bracelet."  Of the many things I have purchased from them, this is my very favorite:

 

I also recently replaced a pretty necklace of theirs that I wore to pieces; my original one was more "english garden" themed, but this one is definitely "bluebells:"

 

They also sell hairpins made of vintage fabric and buttons.  Since my migraines have become so incredibly bad, I have had to start relying on hairpins.  Barrettes, or even the weight of my hair pulled back into a pony tail, is enough to give me a "hatband headache," which is lovely melange of both a migraine and tension headache.  Yes, you can have more than one type of headache at once.  Joy.

So I have also been active with a kind of strange charity, April's Army, which is a spin off of the hysterical site, Regretsy.com, which scours Etsy.com to put a spotlight on some of the more questionable merchandise.  One of the advantages of being a member of this charity team is that people often give discounts to other team members for no reason other than to be nice.  One instance of this was in the case of WrensEye.  She had an "Apocalypse Sale" the week of the Apocalypse that wasn't on May 21, and I swooped in and snatched up two items I had been eying covetously, at 50% off!

Coin pearl necklace

Blood drop earrings

Both really pretty.  I wear the coin pearl necklace a lot, it is just very simple and elegant.  And I love the somewhat baroque look, even though they are freshwater pearls.  

The final purchase I am going to show off for now is some more fabric hairpins, that I really love.  They are simple, and come in all different colors.  I got this set, as well as a set in neutral (white, black, brown):

These are made by PaisleyMoon

 Oh! Just one more purchase, a bit of a surprise for DH, in honor of the theme of our wedding, the Mad Hatter's Tea Party, as well as the Jabberwock Inn, where we honeymooned, celebrated our first anniversary, and are scheduled to celebrate our 10th!

Alice In Wonderland Light Switch Plate

Now this seems like a ton of stuff, but I have purchased it over the last 4 months, so it isn't as dreadful as it seems.  The big (exciting) expenditure was on my ring. 

The last week has been better than the week before.  If this week is as good or better, I might finally be able to go thrifting for the first time since December!

Love and Spontaneity #reverb10

Dec. 16 Prompt: Friendship. How has a friend changed you or your perspective on the world this year? Was this change gradual, or a sudden burst? -Martha Mihalik

Dec. 17 Prompt: Lesson learned. What was the best thing you learned about yourself this past year? And how will you apply that lesson going forward? -Tara Weaver

Perfect.  Just as I sit down to write this, another headache is coming slamming in.  The barometer is changing, and like many migraneurs, barometer changes can give me headaches.  More often than not they do.  But I had gotten away with the first 24 hours of this storm, so I had hoped maybe I would be spared.  Sigh.

I couldn't decide how to approach the friendship prompt.  I feel like I have endured a lot this year, but most of it was spent in our duplex, just my husband and myself.   It was much more a year of physical and emotional stress than it was of perspective change.  I know that stress and mayhem are supposed to build character, but my character can only be built up so much before it topples me with its weightiness.  I know how to get through shitty times, because so much of my life has been shitty.  That sounds awful, and I should make it clear I am very happy.   But that is almost entirely because of my marriage.  This is not to disparage my friends.   And perhaps it is just a way of pointing out how dear of a friend my husband is to me.  But he was the person's whose shoulder I sobbed when it all became too much.   And vice versa, frankly.  

We have become better friends this year.  We both talk about it a lot:  It is as if we have just met each other again, 10 years later.  Again, a horrible year in terms of events, a fantastic year in terms of my marriage.  Our family is mostly on the East Coast.  I have a sister in Dallas, and a sister in Australia.  We are a pretty self-contained unit, and both being shy introverts, we aren't the most social people, so we really rely on each other.  I actually am more of a social person than he, which is almost scary.  

Although I do think my sociability would be enhanced if I felt I could confidently accept invitations in advance.  But I always risk being sick the day of.  Which cleverly segues into my lesson learned in 2010.  Heh.

It is hard to get me to do things at the spur of the moment.  Yet I have more "memorable" moments when I say "Fuck it, let's do it," than when I try to plan ahead.   I mentioned in an earlier post that I plan compulsively, and while I do not have OCD, it is considered something I need to pay attention to as part of my overall mental health.  Of course, keeping an eye on over-planning is kind of a Catch-22 for me, but I do as best I can.

Whenever I say, "Okay, let's do it," I have fun.  Always.  Whether it is to run to a restaurant at the last minute, or catch a movie, stuff that may not seem very bold to you.   But I can't even be sure I will be functional the next day, so planning for things is no good.   In fact, I know I use the obsessive planning as a defense mechanism for my lack of control over my health.  

And I also have a tendency to "hoard" the hours I am not in pain.  Sometimes I just enjoy hanging out doing not much, when I am feeling all right.  Add that time to the times I am down with headaches, and that leaves not many opportunities for spontaneity.  

Spontaneity for me could mean deciding on the spur of the moment to order a fun dinner from Whole Foods for New Year's Eve.  Then ordering it two weeks ahead of time.  But hey, I ordered it as soon as I thought of it!  And some of the joy I do find in planning comes from exactly this type of anticipation, so I actually was not being as much of a freak as usual.

But it can also mean moments of truly plunging in, and challenging myself, such as sharing the communal showers at the Oregon Country Fair, and overcoming just a little bit of my body-hatred.  It also meant I decided to go to a class on the Medical Cannabis Industry.  And at the moment, I am annoyed, because I had another great example of when taking a chance did something positive, and the migraine has knocked it out of my head.  Grrr.  Planning does have its place, I guess.

I will never be able to stop planning entirely.  I see the same behavior in other family members!  But I am trying to take risks, however tame they may seem to others.  

In fact, I just decided to let my hair grow out its natural color (with plenty of gray), and made the hair appointment for early next week!   And earlier that same day, I am going to stop off at my favorite tattoo shop to discuss my next tattoo.  Wheeee!

Baby steps, people.

Body Integration: Where I end, is where I begin. #reverb10

December 12 prompt:  Body integration.  This year, when did you feel the most integrated with your body?  Did you have a moment that wasn't mind and body, but simply a cohesive YOU, alive and present?  -Patrick Reynolds


I thought long and hard about this prompt.  I was beginning to feel as if I was going to have to talk about the same thing I talked about for "Moment," which I had already cited again in my post for yet another prompt.  Next I tried to think of one of my rare athletic moments.  The few times I exerted myself, there was not any particular moment I got into some kind of zone, where mind and body melded.

Suddenly the phrase "mind and body" leapt out at me.   How could I have missed that?

One of the dilemmas of being bipolar is determining the point at which one's personality ends, and the influence of the illness begins.  Mental illness is a biological illness, but it manifests in our behavior and mood.  Are our "real" personalities and our bipolar symptoms, which are, after all, largely behavioral, too intertwined to be teased apart?  It certainly can feel that way, especially when you are in the midst of an episode.  The fact that sometimes a particular mood will really bring out a troubling personality trait fills me with trepidation that I am directed more by my illness, than my own volition.

One of the things I have found on Crazyboards (which I mentioned in the "Community" prompt blog post) by listening to other bipolar patients' experiences, from childhood to the present day, so much of my life is an echo of theirs.  From similar yet unusual childhood mishaps, to relations with our parents, to our delusions and/or hallucinations,  and how they spill over into our day to day lives, no matter how rational and responsible we try to be.

So is the startling similarity of so many bipolar people's lives just a correlation, or do precursors of our first "official" mood episode start appearing way earlier in our lives than one would think?  The traditional age of onset for bipolar illness is late teens, or early 20s.    But while we may not have an acute episode until after our childhood, sometimes it seems as if our early behavior and personalities are strikingly similar.

And because bipolar illness is a genetic one, our parents offer suffer from mental illness of one type or another.  So many if not most of us had unstable and chaotic childhoods.  If anyone needs structure, it is bipolar people, and that kind of tumultuous upbringing often causes us to find ways of sabotaging and undermining ourselves.  Crazy parents are often unable to provide the support and nurturing we need, through no fault of their own. The more regular our lives,  the better we fare from day to day (although I will admit that I am very unlikely to impose structure on myself).  I don't really know how a "normal" family interacts, but our family gatherings are almost always tense affairs, involving a great deal of teetering on egg shells.

Unfortunately, the mood episodes that make me feel most alive are mixed episodes, which are widely accepted to be the worst and most dangerous episodes in terms of the risk of a patient harming themselves or others.  Rages, sobbing, over-sensitivity, self-loathing, sensory overload; the sensation of my body trying to crawl out of its own skin, the pacing, the inability to sleep.  Things taste awful, so I stop eating.  My frustration threshold is non-existent, and I can feel anger coursing through my body.

Mixed states are the most visceral and terrifying periods of my life.  I hope that no one ever judges my overall personality based on my behavior during such an episode.  But I would be disingenuous to tell people that mood episodes are somehow not a genuine part of me.

Just because I haven't added any media for a few days, and this is supposed to be a post of the uniting of body and mind, here is a picture I took of myself during my last mixed episode, in the early summer of 2010.  Most of you of course have no idea how I normally look, but here I am drained of color, my face is set and furrowed with anxiety, and I look exhausted because I had probably gotten about 12 hours sleep in the last 4 days.

Nasty Little Things #reverb10

December 11 prompt:  11 Things.  What are 11 things your life doesn't need in 2011.  How will you go about eliminating them.  How will getting rid of these 11 things change your life?  -Sam Davidson


1.  Migraines.  I will probably not ever be able to totally eradicate migraines from my life.  But I am trying a class of medication I have never tried before for migraine, SSRIs.  SSRIs are anti-depressants, but are used off label to control migraine. Cymbalta seems to be the SSRI I hear about most often in relation to migraine.  If the Cymbalta doesn't work,   I am finally going to risk hurting my neurologist's feelings, and ask for a referral to the Headache Clinic at UCSF Mount Zion.  35 years is enough with generalists, I need a specialist.  Any lessening of the numbers or severity of migraines is quite frankly a quality of life issue.

2.  Seizures.  My husband's that is.  2011 will be the year DH has surgery to see if they can lessen the number or severity, or maybe even stop altogether, his roughly weekly seizures.  This would be a wonderful change for both of us.  He would be able to drive again, which would make him so happy.  I would be so happy with any improvement.  My life with DH will be wonderful no matter the number of seizures, but of course I want him to stop having them altogether.

3.  The metal in my foot.  In January of 2010, I had my left foot entirely reconstructed:  My heel bone was severed, and pulled over; a ligament was pulled and pinned to help create an arch for my foot; metatarsal bones were moved, and either screwed into a new place, or were fused together. An X-ray of my foot reveals one HUGE bolt on the outer side of my foot, and a cornucopia of small screws holding my foot together, in an entirely different shape than it had been before the surgery.  It looks like there is a porcupine in my foot.

My foot is much, much, better.  But it turned out I am actually allergic to the metal in the bolts they used.  I have had a peeling rash all over my foot since the surgical wounds healed.  It looks like athlete's foot, too, which is embarrassing.  The only solution is to go back in, and take all the metal out, so I am having another surgery in January or February.  Getting rid of the metal will mean I won't have horrible itching and peeling anymore.  

4.  Mixed episodes.  Mixed episodes (sometimes called agitated depression) are generally considered the worst kind of episode by bipolar patients. One has all the sadness and self-hate of depression, and all the energy and irritability of mania.  It feels like you want to crawl out of your skin, like energy is pouring out of every pore of your body, but it is all energy directed into self-loathing and anger.  My psychiatrist and I are trying to stop these by adjusting my medication.  Not a very dramatic solution, but unfortunately, the only thing dramatic about treating mental illness is when the treatments don't work.

I only started having mixed episodes consistently 5 years ago, although my first one was over 10 years ago.  I was diagnosed with bipolar illness when I was 24, and it is accepted that I experienced my first depressive episode when I was 18.  Depression and hypomania are bad, and I don't like to experience them.  But I am the most likely to harm myself or others while I am in a mixed state.  The closest I have come to being hospitalized was during a mixed state, and in retrospect, it was agreed if I got that bad again, I would be admitted.  Not having to experience horrible periods of disordered thoughts is once again a quality of life issue, for the very rudimentary reason that it would mean that I would be less likely to harm myself or others.

5.  My current state of unemployment.  Can't really do anything about this until the headaches stop, but I plan to find employment by volunteering with a couple of different Cannabis oriented non-profit organizations, in the hope of making the type of connections I need to find a good job in the Medical Cannabis industry.  Working in that field would mean I was involved in a cause I feel strongly about.  And I feel happiest about myself when I feel like I am doing something to change the world, however small the piece of it over which I have influence.

6.  Clutter.  Who's the world's worst housekeeper?  I am.  Add to that our place is cute, but tiny, about 700 square feet. DH and I are on a campaign to both get rid of stuff, and to find ways of organizing things so that there is at least a place to put everything:  I can't tidy up  if there isn't even a place for everything to go.  Clutter depresses my husband more than it does me, so an attempt on my part would make him happy.  But I am full of guilt about my lack of housekeeping skills, and finding a compromise would mean I spend less time ruminating about what a bad person and wife I am.

7.  Compulsive planning.  One of the things about being bipolar is I don't handle stress or change well.   One way I try to compensate for this is by planning for every. possible. contingency.  Ever.  For anything.  Work, trips, what to make for dinner, phone calls, when I will switch into the exit lane as I approach my exit.  Everything.  It might sound like that would be a good thing, but when I can't stop, and my mind is always racing through "what ifs," and "just in cases," all day long, it is enervating and exhausting.  At the suggestion of my psychiatrist, I am addressing it by using the technique of Mindfulness.  Just to free up the part of my brain that is constantly at work, vamping and revamping imaginary schedules, to feel quiet, and be able to accept things as they come, sounds wonderful.

8.  Friends of friends.  One of my tendencies is to try to expand my circle of friends to include the friends of my friends.  But just because someone is a friend of my friend doesn't mean I have anything else in common with them, will like them, or be able to trust them.  And eventually, if I don't like someone, I am going to say something nasty, although it is usually in response to his or her nastiness to me.  I have to realize I do not have an obligation to make nice to people I am not interested in knowing, and who usually are flummoxed, or even intimidated by me.  That sounds very, very snotty.  And I am not as impressed with my accomplishments as others might be.  But on paper, I am formidable.  It's in person that I am a sickly, whiny, lazy hermit.

9.  Compulsive shopping.  This one is going to be interesting, because I think I may have already created a work-around for this problem.  But it is equally possible I am fooling myself.

When I have mood swings, I spend.  It might be on things I need, but it usually is not.  I buy kitchen gadgets, and books, and Cd's, and DVDs, and clothes, and purses, and shoes, and gifts for my friends and family, and costume jewelry (an area of particular weakness, organic brain syndromes = love of SHIINEEE).  It is easy when my mood is stable to pretend I have a plan for dealing with and preventing it next time, but to say that is to imply I can be rational when I am crazy.  And mental illness doesn't work like that.  If it did, I could just tell myself to "cut it out," as my psychiatrist will say when he is teasing me: He knows it isn't as easy as that.

Rather than a solution, I found a work-around:  Thrift shops.   I am in a thrift shop at least once a week, and when I am feeling well, more often.  Sometimes I hit 3 or 4 in one day. But I can buy lots of items, and not spend much.  And realistically, I do need clothes, as my work clothes used to be for working with dogs, and are basically stained jeans and t-shirts.   But this way, I can spend very little, yet sate my compulsion.

I do realize this is at odds with my desire to cut back on clutter.  I'm human, so sue me.

10.  Dog nails that are too long.  I'd like to take a quarter inch off the nails of the right paw of Violet, my French Bulldog.   I use a dremel with a sandpaper bit to grind back her nails:  She has black nails, and guessing where to press down with a blade is too risky.  With a dremel, one grinds the nail back millimeter by millimeter, so one can see the approaching quick before hitting it.  And if there is a small nick, the speed of the rotation of the dremel bit cauterizes it.

But as much as I like the dremel, it took me several years to realize that the way I hold Violet when I use the dremel (football hold, if you care) meant that her right front paw was at an angle that was extremely difficult for me to reach.  Bit by bit, the two center nails of the four that hit the ground began to grow longer and longer.  Now Violet has the equivalent of coke nails.  This can be remedied by diligently trimming that paw weekly, while staying on my regular monthly schedule with her other paws.

This will make my life better because when Violet stands on my stomach, she will no longer stab me with her ridiculously long nails.

11.  Obeisance  to my mother.  My mother and I have a very difficult relationship.  We always have.  I have 3 sisters who do not have the problems with my mother that I do, but see what goes on.  They often run interference for me.

My mother has a diagnosed personality disorder, but only receives treatment for the depression that often accompanies the disorder.  It took me years (and a few shoves by some therapists and psychiatrists) to realize that my mother treated me the way she did because while she loves me instinctively, she doesn't really like who I am, and isn't really capable of loving me unconditionally.  That is heart-crushing.  

All my life, I have tried desperately to win her favor.  I wore the clothes she picked out.  I took the courses she wanted me to.  I went to the college she picked out for me, even though it was not my first choice.  I went to law school because she told me it was the only possible next step after I got laid off from a teaching position. But it was never enough.  And being the type of person who is almost never ill, she tends to think my chronic conditions are more gambits for attention that anything legitimate.

My craven attempts to placate her will be the hardest thing to give up, because her anger scares me.  But my husband has urged me to stop deferring even the smallest of life decisions to my mother.  I have begun to stand up for myself in little ways, and while my mother doesn't like it, all of my positions have been so clearly reasonable, she had no choice but to accept it.  I know from experience there will be a face to face confrontation at some point; DH will have my back in the resulting shit storm.  

Finally feeling like an adult member of the family, and not a cowed child, is a change I look forward to n 2011.

Making Hash

First of all, I have no real "i" key, I have to press really hard on wear the key *should* be to get it to type.  So sorry if there are some "i"s out of place.

Plus, November is admittedly going to be erratic in terms of the "What I Wore"  clothing diary portion, even though the Goodwill purchases' posts are the loose framework around which the blog is more or less constructed.  November is hell month for me.  I just got through a couple of  days without a severe migraine, and it has been such bliss.  But the fact that I expect one tomorrow as a consequence/punishment is because I just get too many damn migraines.  I cannot plan what I am doing later today, let alone next week..  It happens every November.  I had to cancel my Cannabis Cooking class at the last minute because of a migraine, which makes me really sad plus I think I have lost that entire tuition.  I should have known better than to schedule anything in November.  I am spending a lot of days in tank tops, sweat shirts, and pajama bottoms.  Which as you have seen, I'd photograph, but these headaches have just sucked so hard.

Anyway, we are still scheduled to go to "Graduation" in December.  Fun!

Sooo, we have been really experimenting with hash the last couple of months.  We have been purchasing it from SBAC.  The stuff they sell is exponentially better has than Greeway's, I have to say, as much as I adore Greeneway, as well as making our own type of hash from duff.  "Duff" is the left-over vaporized plant material, which has some, but not nearly all of the cannabinoids removed from it via vaporizing.  We use a relatively inexpensive vaporizer, which we got from Vapor Brothers:

I am actually kind of psyched to make our next batch of hash from duff, since I learned a whole bunch at Oaksterdam that should make our next batch better, stronger, and easier to handle and use.  I know to use Everclear, and how to heat and press it properly.  The stuff we have made has been pretty goopy, and burns up too fast.

But hash strains have become more routine for me to incorporate into my routine.  Because you are not supposed to use a direct flame on hash, I had been improvising with paraphernalia; in particular, heating the underside of the glass bowls on the  sliders on our bongs.   Please Note: The glass of sliders does not take kindly to direct flame for long periods of time.  One broke one day, the other the next.  Oh, and then since I went to the head shop to buy a couple of replacements, I broke a brand new slider through sheer clumsiness.  I am very happy with my hash pipe, and feel like it really is strong.

We found out there is a head shop, Smoke Stuff,  on Yelp, about 3 miles from here.  Since we broke two water pipe slides within 24 hours, plus I was curious about getting a hash pipe, I decided to head over there.  Usually head shop employees are so sullen, and this guy was cheerful and friendly.  He sure was enthusiastic about his products. Heh. The store was so clean, and the guy was very nice.  He helped me pick out my hash pipe.  We will be using that shop in the immediate future. due to my amazing slide smashing skills.

Anyway, you get a lot of bang for your buck with hash.  I also bought these tiny rolled balls of keif, I cannot remember what they are called, and the way they package it meant I had to tear the label off in order to open it.  But sprinkling a bit on what you are using gives it an added kick.

I am really liking Purple Dragon hash right now.  Also, bud from "Humboldt Hash Plant,"  another  good pain killer.  We are still hanging on to some Burgundy Goo, for my next killer migraine (counting down in 3, 2, 1...).  Hash is good at prophylaxis, and for early onset of headaches, but once they are fully established, they probably make it worse.  Although it helps vomiting no matter how severe or well established.

I then also made good old fashioned potato, meat, and onion hash, this time with cubed leftover tri-tip, chopped sweet onion, cubed yukon and russet potatoes, a bit of oil, and about a third cup of beef broth.  Eggs sunny side over easy.  Fat city, but so good.  I hadn't made a good hash in years, and it is really something I could eat almost daily, if my heart didn't scream in agony.  Kidding. I have "spectacular lipid levels," so says my neurologist.  I also particularly love Corned Beef hash, but have never had the balls to make it, since bad corned beef is *so very bad.*

So at this point in the blog entry, I almost feel a little bit like saying, "Okay, let's get this next part over with."  But I obviously enjoy it, so what the hell.  Yes, I've been to Goodwill this week.  Twice.  I have pictures to prove it.  In fact, Thursday I drove around for a while trying to find the Salvation Army that I had done so well at last time, before throwing up my hands, and going back to one of the bigger Goodwills instead (the one on Meridian).

I actually only have "outfit" pictures from Wednesday, when oddly, I wore two outfits.  That is because it was quite chilly in the AM, and warmer in the PM, and I also was dressed to go "thrifting" as I am now learning it is called.  That sounds so much more socially significant than compulsive shopper, don't you think?

So the AM outfit was to take DH to the bullet train, so he wouldn't have to take the bus in the cold.  I went from there to Safeway, and did quite a large shopping trip.  I bought a lot of "quick" meals, for reasons I will relate below.  I also bought a lot of things we were running out of, but I am really pissed because I forgot the McCann's Steel Cut Irish Oatmeal.  I actually am zipping through cans of that now that I have learned to soak the oats overnight.  I still am eating them four or five times a week, and not tiring of it.  Thursday I cut up some strawberries, a tablespoon of sugar, and some milk for my last serving, and it was out of this world.  But that was the end of my supply.

This is what I wore for the drive to the train station, and grocery shopping:

Black cotton cable-knit sweater tunic (bit long on me, but I am short, and have an enormous chest), and a pair of boot cut jeans.  I own one pair of carpenter pants, but all my other jeans are boot cut,  just like them better.  They are a very dark blue wash, so look black in this picture.  It doesn't help that  I am wearing  my black "motorcycle" boots.  Double semi-precious beaded necklace from It's a Girl Thing.

Anyway,  while I was at Safeway, I decided I was getting grossed out by the house again. This is quite a feat, I am exceedingly hard to gross out.  I bought all kinds of cleaning products for people who don't know how to scrub, plus some Drano to fix our bathroom sink, which was taking about 5 minutes to empty.  I am kind of in cleaning mode, but it is really one item at a time, it isn't a frenzy.  I did fix the sink drain, so yay me!

I also got potatoes for beef hash, which I planned to make from leftovers from the tri-tip we had.  Oh, yeah, we had a marinated tri-tip roast with roasted potatoes on Sunday.   DH was so happy to eat meat, even though he doesn't generally complain.  I also got a couple of nicely sized russets for baked potatoes sometime this week.  Hmm, need to check our sour cream, and see how it is holding up.  Anyway, we rarely have big hunks of meat like that anymore, and DH was a very satisfied diner on Sunday night. Yesterday, I completely cheated and got a Safeway refrigerated meal, which I just had to heat up: rigatoni and bolognese.  If you put tomato sauce on food, DH will likely be happy to eat it.  Also those strawberries I mentioned strawberries and avocados (I eat about three a week).  Plus, we have chicken and potato wedges.  Man, heavy on the potatoes this week.

And a lot of candy. 

I went home, put away groceries, and fed Violet.  I only meant to surf the net for a bit, but I was kind of still feeling my oats because I haven't been having nearly the problems with my head that I was last week.  I have been beyond relaxing the last few days, just luxuriating in the relative lack of pain. I haven't been migraine free, but I have been keeping them under control with the aid of both Big Pharma, and Cannabis.  Then I remembered we had broken the slides,  So I headed out to Smoke Stuff.

After that, it was still before noon, and I decided to do some "thrifting."  I wanted to go back to the Salvation Army.  But I got totally lost trying to find the Salvation Army I went to last time when I used Smoke Stuff as my starting point.  When I came back home, and looked at a map, I realized I had merely been on the wrong side of the street.  Gah.  I had thought about trying to get there again today, but my head and ache-y legs have pretty much nixed that idea.  Or, I could go to the Salvation Army just a couple of miles from here.  People were a little ruthless at the Salvation Army, and shopped out of my cart once before I was aware of it:  I have had that happen to me once or twice in Goodwills since then as well, so I guard my basket.

So, Wednesday afternoon, San Jose Goodwill, on Meridian.  Fortunately, one of their biggest locations, because the whole reason I wanted to go to the Salvation Army is because it's HUGE.  I actually am kind of amazed that I am able to keep straight in my head what I bought on Wednesday, and what I bought on Monday, but I can.  I have to take a few more pictures, of the stuff from Monday.  I know these aren't the greatest pictures, but it is hard to display this sort of thing without a manikin,

Anyway, I have learned to dress with a tank top under my clothes, so I don't have to compete for dressing rooms as much (there are mirrors here and there around the stores).  I wore the same jean and boots, but a pink tank top, and a fasten-less cardigan in a synthetic knit of some kind, with a empire waist (one of my Monday Santa Clara Goodwill finds).  Cardigans are easy to slip off and on, so I don't freeze between trying on clothes.  I also wore my new-ish flower/pouf black headband, since I know my hair gets in my eyes pulling things off and on, and it is a quick fix.  In both Wednesday's pictures, I am wearing a brown braided leather belt I also bought at the Santa Clara Goodwill on Monday.

I got a small black leather hobo purse, Wilson's.  I already have the big black Wilson's satchel.  The handle is asymmetrical, and has two metal links on one side.

A purple and violet pin-striped oxford blouse:

This was a cute find: A blue wool knit top with cable, an empire waist, and that nice collar.

This is a light wool short-sleeved lavender top, with an scoop, and embellished keyhole neck.

Here's the embellishment:

I am not bothering to include pictures of the plain black top, and the camel-colored top with the collar with the rather restrained embellishments.

So from Monday in Santa Clara, you have seen the Black empire-waist button-less cardigan thing-y, and I am guessing you can visualize a standard brown leather braided belt.  Here is a mis-sized fabric brown and pink purse, the top stripe is pale pink, compared to the flowers:

It looks brand new, and I combine pink and brown a lot.  Plus, a little black lace slip skirt:

Here is a detail of the lace:

I have reached this weird place with my wardrobe.  First of all, I am being pretty ruthless at discarding things I don't wear, and stuff that looks ghastly in the pictures on this blog.  That doesn't mean I won't wear something over-sized, like that tunic sweater (I'm calling it a tunic because it has side slits), but to be honest, I like how that looks, even if it isn't the latest fashion.  So I have enough clothes, yet because of my weeding out and organizing what I have, I know really specifically where I have holes in my wardrobe.  For instance, I do have one or two navy things.  But I could really use navy shoes, and a purse.  A pair of navy slacks wouldn't hurt either.  I don't need them, but I know that I can certainly use them.  This is allowing me to be both incredibly picky, and a little more outre in my choices, because I try on things that I think, "What the hell, I like it, maybe it will work on me."  And about 15% of the time, I find something good, so since there is a lot of stuff to try on, I almost always walk away with a find.

So back to less frivolous and material things:  I woke up today (Friday) morning with a slight headache.  So a several day break, more than I had really hoped for.  But it is back, I can feel it creeping around my skull. UGH.  I have to say last week's Migrane-o-rama really took the wind out of my sails, both in the sense  I can still tell  am still recovering days later, and also in the sense that it seems to have put a hitch in my mood, I no longer feel like I am being sent by slingshot to every destination.

Okay, this post is just getting ridiculous, I can't even proof read it it is so long.   Tomorrow, I want to talk about the riveting subject of home decor. Har.

Title added as afterthought

Editor's note.  I  have decided to remove the information about my husband.  I know a lot of people have seen it, but that doesn't mean I should keep letting people see it when I am uncomfortable.  I'm sorry. 

Sunday I ran a few errands.  I wore my new pink/purple striped blouse, a pair of Lee jeans, and my black zip up motorcycle-type boots.  I had my hair pulled back with a textured brown ponytail holder, and being over the top girly,  wore a little pink and black kanazashi, you haven't seen these ones before.

I wore my calla lily pendant bead necklace, sparkly earrings and bracelet (you can barely see it, stage left).

Sunday, I got to do both shopping for necessities, and some fun spending.  The first necessity was a trip to SBAC to pick up some hash.  I am finding it is a much better "evening dose" than the cannabis, although it sucks for the acute pain.  Then I want the buds.

I had a bit of Jack Herer, and purple grandfather

<snip>

So when I went to the SBAC, I picked up a gram of Purple dragon, a gram of Sour Diesel which was top shelf.   I also got an eighth of Cotton Candy Kush, which even though it is a hybrid, is supposed to be as close to a heavy sativa as he had, even though he had sativas. Then because  I had spent a minimum amount, I received a half gram of pineapple diesel hash as an incentive.  Have I said how much I love this apothecary?  They are so well priced, and they have incentive programs. Given the absolute hell of some of these migraines, and the fact I cannot get to an ER because DH cannot drive, I finally conceded I need a "knock me out cold" strength strain sometimes, and that is the Cotton Candy Kush.  Until now, I had purposely avoided going into a coma, because I generally want to always be just a couple of hours away from sober.  But migraines I consider ER worthy would mean I was as good as knocked out anyway.

The other necessities were a couple of Wacoal bras.  That gives me four bras that are the right size, so that should be okay.  Those suckers cost, but I have learned that you get what you pay for when it comes to bras; you save more money by making the initial investment than you do having to replace the cheapo bras every two months.  The joys of big tits

Then I went to (wait for it)...Lush.  WHeeeee!  I still had about $70 on the Amex gift card, which  I spentspentspent.  Realize, I bought small pieces of everything but the shampoo, so I wasn't paying the prices on the website. I actually was almost out of my facial cleanser, Angels on Bare Skin.  It will be gone by next weekend, when I am busy, and god forbid I run out for even one second.  Although realistically, with all the headaches, I probably was wise to just get it over with on a day I felt okay.... I also wanted to get a makeup remover, since the cleanser doesn't do that.  I wanted to see if they had a solid dandruff shampoo, and to buy some more jelly soap.  They figured out a much better way of packaging the jelly, and it will be a lot easier to use.  

I always tell them my age, because I want the products for aging.  I am still vain enough to get a kick from the shocked look on their faces, since I don't look 47.  So the cleanser recommended was Ultra Bland. The shampoo for dandruff is called Soak Float, so I got a bar of that, and a round tin to keep it in.

I also got some of their special "Day of the Dead" soap, Catrina, and the jelly the Calacas.  So fun. And my gift card covered everything, with less than a dollar to spare.

<snip>

Ugh, this post is also showing bad judgement.  But I feel like I needed to "discuss" it.

Goodwill and cash

So I am behind in what I wore.  Also behind in what I have purchased.  This is going to be a photo dump.  But last weekend I was so busy with class, I was zonked when I got home.  This week, I had so many headaches, I didn't even dress Wednesday.  Then yesterday, I am certain I took a picture, because I keep taking them until they are almost in focus (har) and I saw the picture.  I must have deleted it by accident, but I know I will wear that outfit again, because it was easy and it matched.

Monday, I had the headache I had managed to put off during the weekend.  Saturday and Sunday, I did have to pop a couple of Imitrex, but survived.  I am wearing the "Yes on Prop 19" t shirt I bought at the bookstore at Oaksterdam U.  Awful jeans, they are going into the Goodwill bag, I think they are Target.  And suede Doc Martens MJs.

Tuesday I felt better, and of course, that meant shopping.  Goodwill this time, and I picked out a great deal of stuff for $31 and change.  My spending still sucks, because I am no longer limiting it to Goodwill, though. :(

The top is NY & Co., a turquoise empire top that is distorted by my hips.  The fabric has a kind of gather all over it, you can kind of see it.  Textured fabric is supposed to de-emphasize a lack of waist, and  I have to admit, it almost looks like I have a waist in this picture.  The skirt is Costco, and I keep almost giving it away.  But it is like a pair of jeans.  I see it hits my legs in a horrible spot, so into the Goodwill bag it goes.  The shoes are some black penny loafer mules.  The hairband was some excessive shopping I did in beauty supply store.

I got that headband in black and ivory.  It has an embossed fabric overlay, and a flower pouf-thing.  I am into flowers and pouf at the moment.  I also got a pretty claw clip (it doesn't have that butterfly hinge that is so awful), and a fuzzy ponytail holder.  Then I bought what I actually went in there for:  One of those dye wands for touching up your roots, and a waxing kit.  The wand works pretty well, but it is a little more work than I expected.  It lasts between washes, you can get it wet, but not soapy.  The waxing kit I was going to try tonight, but decided against pulling hair out of my face while I had a headache.  I still have a mask to do tonight, I am girly-girling out.  BUT, my skin has been beyond fantastic.  In fact, I haven't touched the spot zit treatment in days.

I am nervous about the waxing kit.  I have an eyebrow pencil just in case.

Okay, so Wednesday, I was punished for my profligacy (Goodwill finds are coming up).  I was so sick, it was one of the all day ones, where you basically writhe because there is no escape in any position, or with any home remedy.  So no picture.

Thursday I didn't feel great, but I had to get to the supermarket to pick up our meds, DH was about to totally run out.  You've seen that shirt before, in a variety of colors.  I wore the black one on Friday.  I look like shit in general, and those are the same awful jeans.  That is an old Target purse, and the shoes are pink and white mules, also from Target.

Yesterday, I wore new black knit pants I got Tuesday.  They are knit, but structured (they zip up the side), so they look like nice pants, not my usual knits.  The black shirt version of the pink-y shirt above, and a red Ann Taylor sweater coat (not the full length time).  It is one of my favorite pieces of clothing, although to be honest, it is over-sized.  I like how it looks though.  I wore a pair of black skimmers (how many pair of black shoes do I own?).  I wore my black hairband, and the necklace I had purchased at Eni-thing, which matched earrings I had purchased a month or so ago.

Today was an awful day.  DH had a seizure, I woke up with a vomit inducing migraine, and the gardeners were here, so Violet was shrieking all day.  After throwing up a few times, I remembered I had just gotten Imitrex shots on Thursday, so I took one of those.  I also used a very strong Indica, "Burgundy Goo," which helped me eat something, and took away another layer of pain.

I have spent the day in pajamas, although I ran out to talk to a GOTV guy.  Violet was going insane, and I said, "Violet, be nice, he's a Democrat," and he laughed.  I am voting straight Dem as always.  I used to split my vote, but no more.

So now we are going into one of my purchase lists, so hang on.  These boots are the highest heel I can wear, but the stacked heel saves me.  Ironically, I couldn't have worn them before my surgery, because my left foot was too mis-shapen.

They are definitely special occasion only.

This top is navy, and is super cute.  It can be layered, and looks really cute with jeans and boots (I have a lot of boots, at the moment):

As much as you can say I am need of a particular type of clothing, blouses are it.

I used this purse Friday night when DH and I went out to eat.

This is a really cute, compact purse, I think the boa trim is visible in this pic.  Again, more of a dress item.

I bought this lamp and lampshade separately.  The base is actually off-white, and I am still deciding whether to pain the metal part.  It is kind of incongruous, but our bed frame was jerry-rigged, we have an Eames era wrought iron bed, which is not standard size.  It has a bit of an industrial look:  We bolted it together, planning to paint the bolts black, but decided we liked the contrast.

So six items for $30 is not the best bargain I have knocked out, but the boots were over a third of that.  The lamp was $2 total.

So that is what I bought on Tuesday.

Crazy with a Conscious

Once, a little over 10 years ago, we received a catalog (we still shopped with catalogs in the 20th century). It was kind of a yuppy faux-eco clothing catalog.  This was just at the start of Green being equated with being "hip."

One of the items they sold was cashmere sweaters. But these sweaters were special:  The animals (and even the herd's people!) were treated extra super-duper carefully, and fed delicious things. We could feel good about wearing these cashmere sweaters, they were grown on such happy, healthy, ecologically sound goats. Scrawled across the page of the magazine, in huge, italic type, was "Sweaters with a conscious...." Once we picked ourselves up off the floor, we went around begging friends and neighbors for their copies of the catalogs, so we could each have a copy, and distribute them to a few key friends.

What led me to reminiscing about this story is a pretty good example of manic thought processes, so let's see if I can write my day out, so you can see what a disordered/disorganized thought process looks like.

Last night, I decided to record a three part series on a subject, that while often discussed on my blog and various places where I go by my real name, is still controversial.   I am sure you can guess what about.  I already recorded the three part series, a mini-course on medical cannabis for patients, and blue-toothed them over to my computer.  I spent all morning working on them, arranging materials, thinking through what I was going to say, running rough dress rehearsals.  I even changed my clothes, and made my hair look reasonably nice (one more day, tomorrow it needs to be washed).  I had also looked over the third segment, and decided it needed to be redone, and started pondering what I felt could be improved upon.  

I had awoken with a migraine, but that is almost par for the course these days, and this was SUCH A VERY GOOD IDEA!  It pushed the pain into the background.  In the first part, I discuss what medical cannabis is, why I use it, and how to go about getting a recommendation (nothing illegal).  I also go over civil rights, going over a few different scenarios where knowing your rights is important.  I even almost manage to hide my name while demonstrating what different documents looked like.  Almost.

Not that it is would be hard to trace it back to me, the real person:  Those of you coming from Facebook and Twitter either know me, or are following me because I use medical cannabis.  And anyone randomly coming across the blog wouldn't be able to identify me without at least affirmatively searching.  Plus, all my in laws are blocked on every social network to which  I belong (nice, I know.  I never said I was a sweet person).

Now, the second video goes over methods of ingestion.  Yes, with full on display of paraphernalia.  One accumulates a great deal of it when one has consumed cannabis for over two-thirds of her life (oh, yes).  I actually demonstrate one type.  Yes, with the real medication.

The third segment was showing different types of cannabis, some I have, some I have containers from when I had last had it, so I could explain types I didn't happen to have.  And of course, the real stuff.  Several strains, and some hash.   All on tape.

I was excited about it.  I planned to put it up right away, but decided to wait until tonight.  I'd wait until DH went to sleep.

Then the duvet from Nordstrom, the one about which I had been so excited, arrived.  I opened the first box, which was one of the shams.  It was so beautiful!  I excitedly opened the other box, but wait a second:  That wasn't the duvet I ordered, was it?  I hurried back to the bookmarked site.  SHIT!  What I had thought was the duvet was a coverlet, and I had assumed the actual duvet was a set of sheets; it was SO different than the shams and coverlet.  I didn't even really like this duvet.  Plus, it is ivory.  I have a stinky little dog, who has light brown hair.   We had already eliminated black as an option, just at the thought of her fur woven through each stitch of fabric.  This would show dirt as well.  I was back to square one, plus I was 100% in love with the shams. Shams!  Who would think?

Now I had to have something as close to what I had expected as possible.  Those shams, I wanted those shams.  I started doing frantic google searches. I got angry, then furious.  I was so angry at that stupid duvet, I felt personally affronted by it.  Now I was too upset to re-tape the third part of my series, and my head was killing me, all the "pain relief" of focusing on my narration was gone.   I had to go lie down, the continuity of the series was going to be totally fucked up.  Maybe I should start the whole thing over tomorrow?  I went to take a nap for a few hours.

DH called, and told me someone had been hit by a train, so he didn't know when he would be getting in.  As morbid as that is, it gave me time to calm down.  I woke up completely, and realized my head felt much better.  Maybe I could tape the last part over after DH went to bed.  I started to actually dress up, he had said at lunchtime that he would love to go out for dinner, if my head cleared up.

....DH wouldn't like that I was going to broadcast this at all, so better to tape it when he was out, or asleep, and post it, and never let him see it....

That was kind of weird.  I don't really keep things secret from DH.  Yes, I am hesitant about keeping him up to date about my spending, but frankly, he looks at our bank account every day, he sees what is going out (hence his recent expression of displeasure). I pushed my concern to the back of my mind, but it did niggle.

DH came home, and we spent about hour giggling and hanging out.  I was having "outbursts" of silly, but also weirdly hostile.  I genuinely thought I was joking as the words flew out of my mouth, but once they were out, I would think, "Geez, that was mean!" And  I would apologize.  But DH thought I was a laff-riot.  Still,  I felt uncomfortable, it was as if a filter were gone.   I might still have made those jokes if I weren't all at sixes and sevens emotionally, but I would have had the extra two seconds to think about what was about to come barreling out of my mouth, and stop it, if I thought it was unwise.

Those of you who know DH knows he has a very bizarre sense of humor.  I am lucky.

We went to dinner at an Italian restaurant as close to around the corner as you can get with a Jersey barrier down the center of our major thoroughfare.  We had never been before, but Yelp said really good things pretty consistently.  It was so close I couldn't believe we hadn't tried it, although I am picky about Italian.  Amilia's is a lovely mid-range Italian restaurant, that also sells a rather extensive list of more American-style sandwiches.

We wanted wine with dinner, so we shared a platter of bruschetta to start.  Now the reviews of their bruschetta had been raves, and I had thought, "Really?  Bruschetta?"  I mean, I have eaten a great deal of bruschetta in my day, inside Italy and out.  But holy shit, this may have been some of the best bruschetta I have ever eaten!  Nomnomnom.  Then I had a chicken penne dish with a cream sauce, spinach, mushrooms, fresh tomato, crisp pancetta, cubes of chicken breast, and perfect al dente pasta.  I was shocked at how good it was.  DH had Chicken Parm, and was also very pleased.  We each had a glass of Kim Crawford Sauvignon Blanc, from New Zealand.  DH ate all his chicken, but couldn't eat the side of fettucine, or all his veggies.  I got through less than half of mine, but brought it home.  A yummy lunch (or more evilly, perhaps, a yummy midnight snack.  Hell, a midnight gorge, there is a lot).  


We came home, happy and full, and chattering away.  DH was happy, because he could tell he was going to get lucky.  I was happy because for once a migraine hadn't ruined a weekend evening out, for the first time in at least a month.  Thing went as DH hoped.  But I had a lot of trouble concentrating, and staying focused (you might not think that could even be an issue, but my mind is going a million miles an hour).  It was actually somewhere mid-fuck (sorry) that I began to really start to think about what I was planning on posting on the Internet.

But it was informative and instructive!  Everything I did was legal under California law, and de facto legal under Obama's administration!  I want to be a cannabis activist!  I have committed felonies on behalf of causes before (syringe exchange was a felony, can you believe it?)!

But this was all pre-Internet.  Not to mention pre-DH.  There is someone else to take into consideration.

No Fair.  Why do I have to change my approach?

Wait a second.   Haven't I been saying I am labile and manic?  I have been cleaning a lot, but today I was so busy taping, I didn't get any cleaning done.  In other words, I was still in a frenzy, it just didn't happen to involve cleaning.

And isn't one the classic symptoms of mania lack of self-awareness?  Maybe I am being a little hasty.  I can always post new, better, videos when I am feeling better, right?  I am too embarrassed now to even run the idea by DH.  I know it is the mania.  This is mania, not hypo-mania.  I don't know what to do.

So my conscious kicked in.   Cashmere goats may be raised so you can wear a sweater in good conscience, but what really matters is I got my self-consciousness back.

Even crazy people can be conscious.

Shopping Blitz

Vintage (80sish) burgundy crinkly cotton maxi-skirt (new with tags), and sage green cropped blouse. The blouse has a patchwork of the fabric, with different patterns of embroidery on each panel. I also wore some black leather skimmers. There's my little green purse again.

I have now been awake for 29 hours, and am getting my second wind. Ugh. Hypo mania, here I come. Well, I see the Dr. in literally a week. You probably cannot have failed to notice that my shopping is somewhat compulsive. It is like some kind of emotional compromise I have made with myself about spending when I am "high," it is okay to buy a lot of things, if I don't pay a lot over all. This can actually still get me into trouble, but would be more of an issue if I were shopping for clothes in the mall. I used to shop for a lot of my clothes on eBay, and this is even less expensive. Hey, cannabis is expensive, we save where we can. Uh, right, I am an AWESOME saver.

Anyway, I put all this energy to good use this morning. DH overslept, and I took him into work, since I was awake anyway. Then I decided to try a Salvation Army, and went to the main San Jose branch. When I first walked in, it did NOT look promising, but it was absolutely enormous. I decided not to even look at skirts, pants or shorts, and focus solely on tops. While I was looking, the manager of the store announced that they were clearing out inventory, and you would get one item of equal or lesser price for free with another item.

One thing I noticed right away was that they weren't as picky about what they put on the floor as Goodwill. They leave it up to you to find any tears or stains, although in my opinion, they pretty much pointedly marked things down with defects. I realized I had really honed my technique, I can get through a lot of clothes fast, and know what spots to look at quickly for wear and tear. If I have any hesitation over it, I don't pull it. There is plenty there to try on, I shouldn't waste time on stuff I already don't really like, or that might be too tired.

The cool thing was when I checked out, they used the highest priced item, and the next highest priced item as the free item, it wasn't like they chose the lowest half of the prices. So I got 8 pieces of clothing, for $29.94. Good lord, I scare myself, I remind myself of my grandmother. But she would buy things on sale JUST because they were on sale. She once bought 50 house coats, because, "They were just $2 each!" Of course, neither she nor anyone she knew actually wore house coats. There is a horrific throw back, do you remember house coats?

So, this is one of those horrific lists of things I bought. I am such a spoiled housewife, but at least I know it. I moved the date up for my first class, so that will actually be the weekend after this one. Oops, I better make a hotel reservation.... But anyway, it is the worst kind of consumption, but at least it is "re-using and recycling," and it really is not expensive.

I was heavy on the red spectrum and the sweaters and jackets. I have to go through my shirts, some of them have holes in them from dog teeth, and that sort of thing, I may need a couple more dressy tops, but other than that, I really am set for the fall and winter.

Burgundy-ish crochet short sleeved cardigan, the sleeves are kind of like longer flutter sleeves. I think the brand is not a very good one, White Stag; that could be a Wal-mart front, but I figure they aren't getting the money.



Sky blue sweater vest, it looks handmade. It is open down the sides almost to the waist band:



I am beginning to have a little trouble switching back and forth between windows, especially as I have Flickr open in Firefox, and this open in Safari, since I have two separate gmail accounts, one signed in on each browser. So I could stop this post at some point.

Black cotton cable knit sweater with rolled collar. Sorry about the glare, it was 90 today:



Red asymmetrical linen-blend tunic with wood buttons, can be worn alone or over something:



The glare made this blouse very hard to see: It is a metallic red blouse, with back and gold threads through it. But while shimmery, it would be appropriate for an office, Not that I am likely to wear it to an office, that is more likely for dressing up for me. Fabric covered buttons, which I always really like:



You can see red is definitely a theme here. A red wool blazer, it skims over my body pretty well, which is what I need clothes to do. Another woman shopping next to me actually insisted I buy it. Har. I forget what shape this is called, but I wore this shape a lot when I was practicing law, so for some reason, it must be a good cut on me.




I love this, I have to think of how I will use it though. Hot pink linen Ralph Lauren box-y blazer, it hits me at just below the hip, which is a good place for me.



This picture doesn't really do a fair job of showing this next jacket off. It has a really nice look to the fabric, kind of pseudo-suede-y. It is actually the nicest piece I bought, but it looks washed out in the photo. This is a deep red cropped jacket. I can wear this with a zillion things. Red can be a great neutral, I have learned.



There! I think that is it for this trip! I actually have a few things to show you from last week, but I actually am getting pooped, and I can't look a gift foot in the mouth, or something.


'Night!