Flounce

This is a total and complete whine, so if you want to maintain the illusion that I am more mature than a three year old, please skip this post.

Sister3 celebrated her 40th birthday this year. Sister2, who is very well off, took her to Africa. For a long time, I couldn't understand why that upset me, because while I do hope to go to Africa at some point, sub-Saharan Africa is way down on my list of places I want to go.

Well, of course, I realized while looking at the pictures (which are totally cool) what my problem was. It wasn't really Africa, it was the 40th birthday trip. Sister2 got a birthday trip that all the sisters were required to attend. Sister1 got a last minute exemption, because the baby she adopted unexpectedly became available, and she wasn't allowed out of NY State, but she had been expected to attend. She also got a birthday trip for her 40th birthday.

Oh, plus during Sister1's birthday trip, I arranged a special "sisters" spa trip to celebrate Sister2's engagement (Sister 1 was in on this, but did not pay), which Sister3 and I paid for We rented out the salon. S2 was totally pissed about it, because in spite of her prior insistence that she was footloose and fancy-free that weekend, She had made plans, and we fucked them up, and she made sure we knew it. I told Sister3 we shouldn't surprise her, but hey, I've only known them since birth, what would I know.

She still could have been a little more gracious, she never apologized for the way she acted.

So add to all of this expense and resentment on my part, my 40th birthday was totally ignored by all my sisters. Of course, at the time, it didn't even occur to me to be bothered by it. It was only after being forced to pay for Sister1 and Sister2's trips (and shower) that I began to realize what the deal was. I wondered if for my 45th, there would be some acknowledgment, but no.

It is under 3 years until 50. If it isn't acknowledged, I am serious, I am not celebrating any more 50th birthdays. The trips for my first two sisters were NOT as expensive as sister3, just to Sonoma. I don't expect to go to Africa, although I wouldn't mind going to Sonoma, and having my portion of everything paid for.

I know this is infantile, but if I don't get acknowledgement, they better not expect me to go on any trips or go in for any big gifts for them. This is a huge pattern in how I have been treated by my entire family my whole life. Even Sisters 2 & 3, who are cognizant that I got a raw deal from my parents (it was as if they were raised by different people, no emotional OR physical abuse), are willing to pile on.

I am sure I am annoying to be around, especially when I was depressed a lot. But their personalities are not so sparkling that I particularly want to spend huge amounts of time with any of them, either.

So this is a huge infantile rant, but it is my blog, and I have nowhere else to throw a fit about it.

By the way, if this post didn't give it away, I am labile, and irritable as hell. As bad as the spending is, I would rather be manic than in a mixed state. Let's hope this is due to mania, and is short-lived.