No seriously, I wore stuff

Okay, I have learned that removing images that I have posted on flickr, even when I lift the html, makes them disappear blog. So sorry that some of my pictures have disappeared. I maybe will fix some of the "outfit" pictures.

I haven't posted any outfits in a while, but that doesn't mean I haven't been keeping records. And I know this is going to be super self-indulgent, but I am going to also start taking pictures of my jewelry, so I can refer to it. Hey, this is my frivolous "what I wore" blog, as well as my pensive "who AM I" blog.

So, I am just going to show "outfits" in order, and then discuss them as I go along. This should be an absolutely riveting post. But I am learning things.

Friday, it began to cool off, but was still warm. The top is an Exhilaration top by Target (which I am currently boycotting). The pants are those ugly Costco Capri's again. We will see these again soon, and I have more to say on that. The hair pin is one of my larger kanzashi, blue and pink. the usual Birkenstock: In my defense, I have to limit my footwear due to foot reconstruction less than a year ago, with more surgery to come.



I also wore these beautiful earrings, another GW find. Perfect fall colors. No necklace, the scoop neck is elasticized and ruffled.



Saturday, I actually had a reason to dress fairly nicely: NakedJen, DH and I had plans for lunch at our usual Ginormous Whole Foods in Cupertino, a central meeting place in the Silicon Valley for us. But, after I got dressed, fate intervened, in the form of a disgruntled host, and two silly dogs, so she had to run back to Santa Cruz. We see each other enough, it wasn't a big deal. But this is what I dressed in:



You are familiar with a lot of these clothes. Brown cotton tunic with embossed insets on the front and the sleeves; Coldwater creek jeans (I am washing these clothes occasionally, so don't panic). I also wore my Bass black zip up ankle boots.
They couldn't be more practical, classic, or comfortable. If I take care of them, I will be able to where them my whole life.

The jewelry is almost all new to you, save those earrings (they go with everything, seriously). On my right wrist, you can see a sculpted silver bangle bracelet, my parents gave it to me for my 16th birthday. I also am wearing a signed Navajo totem charm necklace.This is one of the coolest pieces of jewelry I own. I have to take pictures of these things when I am not wearing them. Again, I see long posts of earrings and necklaces. Riveting reading, hold onto your hats.

Sunday, I didn't feel great, which shows in my demeanor. I was very upset about Heather, I was still in shock. plus, I had a stupid menstrual headache. Oops, was that TMI? That pink shirt with the white "shirt" hanging below it: That is all of a piece, another Costco purchase. Not my favorite. I have a lot of solid color Costco for my old doggie daycare job, as we had to wear solid colored shirts. I didn't want to wear nice enough clothes that I cared if they got ruined by dogs or chemicals.

Now the Capri's. This is their second wear, which is pretty standard for me and pants. With jeans, I usually wear them 3 times, and sometimes, I admit, even a fourth. But look, these are far more awful than they were Friday. I have relegated them to pajamas, or at worst, gym clothes: No more wearing them as "real" clothes. I suspect I have a lot of knits I am going to be equally unhappy with. This is actually becoming a useful way of winnowing and organizing my wardrobe. I ORGANIZED MY CLOSET today. At least what was already in it. I have many more clothes to wash, or get dry cleaned.



As usual, my hair looked like shit. But my necklace was cute:



One of my MANY Wychbury purchases. I just got another packet from them, so I have more fun stuff to show off soon. They created the pansy that is the inspiration for my cover-up tattoo.

Monday I didn't do much, just hung around the house, literally. You may notice I am actually barefoot, which I am trying to not make a habit, I have discovered the more "dressed" I am, the more likely I am to run errands, and go out, which is good for my mental health, and good practice for my social anxiety.

Now I am pretty sure those jeans don't look THAT bad on me. They are just plain old Levis, and I can't recreate that bagginess when I am using my own two eyes. Also, wearing a cheapo Costco henley shirt. AND I noticed a stain on it, so at the end of the day, into the trash it went. So you see, this is a bit like winnowing my wardrobe. Sort of my own little "What Not to Wear."



No jewelry, dirty hair. This is pretty standard when my mood is bobbling around my baseline, I have better and worse days.

On Tuesday, I wore this to my p-doc appt. I know I wore the skirt just the other day, but I thought it was a pretty different look:



I had my hair pulled back, and a Calvin Klein casual scoop-neck long-sleeved top, the sleeves are inset like tiny mutton chop sleeves. Padded shoulders and emphasizing my shoulders (not to 1980s proportions) is supposed to be a good style for apple shaped people. Believe it or not, the shirt looked better tucked in. The necklace is a $2 purchase, it is just faux gold and beads, and it is very long. You can see I have it knotted, and in the picture with DC early in the blog, you can see I am wearing it doubled up. I also am wearing these earrings:



Yes, Wychbury again! They know who I am now. Har.

Today was a double outfit today. That is because I woke up feeling horrible. Seriously awful. I didn't have a headache yet, but I think I staved it off somewhat. Anyway, here I am in jammies, a tshirt, and a jacket (I am always cold when migraine-y



At about 4:30, I started feeling better. I called in my scripts, and realized that on Friday, not only would I have to drive out to Lucky, I wanted to go to Enica's holiday art party at Eni-thing. I decided to just take the American Express gift card Sister2 gave us for our anniversary. DH has spaced on it, and I do want to go to this party, and buy some pretty things, maybe even some early gifts. BUT, I might try to hit up the Sunnyvale GW if I don't get to sleep sometime soon. It is, after all, now 5:30. Who knows, I might stay up and go, then nap. Sigh.

At any rate, I started feeling better, and I decided rather than squeeze in another trip Friday to SBAC dispensary while I was feeling okay, since who knew how I would feel in a bit. Okay, another lesson learned courtesy of the GPS: During rush hour, take side streets. Geez.

DH got home shortly after I did. I actually will admit, I bought a few strains and told him they were purely for headaches, and he was not to smoke it. I also got some hash, since he won't smoke it. That way, at least I know I will have SOMETHING to take every night for the next two weeks, and it is surprisingly cheap. Cannabis is better, but hash will do. I feel bad, I wonder about his dependence, but I actually have more difficulty without it than he. Of course, that is because I start having more migraines, but it also means I have a hard time limiting his intake. Ugh.

More on non fashion topics tomorrow/today.

Migraine

I have gotten myself tangled up into some kind of "Mission Statement" post from which I can't get disentangled. I think it is an attempt to fit too many blog posts into one. So I think I am going to keep my Magnum Opus in draft form for a while, and let it steep before I go back to it. And yes, I still have to finish the Lush, makeup, etc. post, because I actually do have pictures and ideas for that.

One thing that has been cutting into my blogging, both in terms of pain-free time, and in terms of being able to think clearly for long periods, is a series of migraines I have had over the last week. It has totally screwed with my sleep, and I am just not a happy camper. But behind the scenes, I was still taking pictures of what I wore.

On Monday, I was still recovering from the migraine that went Saturday and Sunday. But I needed to run over to Lucky to get my DH some medication, and a grocery or two. This is a red velour tunic, with gold detailing around the neck, and my pair of Coldcreek jeans again. I am just wearing my same Navajo inlay pendant, and no earrings, I wasn't feeling too good. No makeup for sure. Oh, and I was wearing black slip-on "penny loafers. The little purse is from It's a Girl Thing, made by one of her few craft consignment people (she usually does just regular consignment). It's really cute, but kind of fragile, I have already sewn a sequin and a shell back on. But I would thrash it whether it is a $20 or a $2000 handbag (and I could easily get $2000 handbags from this place). I do have one expensive purse, that I used to use, until my mother yelled at me because didn't I realize what a nice purse that was? I was going to ruin it. Because why buy something nice, if not to wrap it carefully, and put it away someplace where you will never see it again?



Monday night, I didn't really sleep. It sucked. So by the time it was 9 or 10, I figured I might as well go do something, which usually means "goodwill hunting." Believe me, if you have not done this, this is a cheap hobby. I keep dithering over how much I am buying, and DH keeps trying to figure out what money I am talking about. So I decided to hit the Goodwill right in Santa Clara, which is about two miles (everything here is between 2 and 7 miles away: If I were a good person, I would walk or bike that, but I am not a good person).

So for this mission, I used a satchel I had got on a previous trip. Again, I am trying to be a little more aware of my appearance, and I am guessing that means not using the same neoprene ballistic handbag that you have been carrying for the last two years, because you can wipe dog slobber off of it. So, remember, we are out of sequence, it is now Thursday, but this is Tuesday. That is the brown Nine West (as opposed to the black) tunic, some Venezia jeans I found in the suckiest Goodwill in the area. Even the sucky places can surprise you. Venezia are not quite as good a cut for me as Coldwater creek. I also wore a pair of brown suede loafers I have had for years.

As I said, I also brought a new (for me) hand bag, a Wilson's black leather satchel, listed on their site for 120 (not on sale, I think it was on sale for 80), and I paid 15. It looks brand new. I had to stuff it with tissue paper for a couple of weeks, because it had obviously been flattened behind something in someone's closet, but it is a gorgeous bag.

I went really looking for tops this time. I am pretty set for skirts and jeans, unless something just screams to me. Well, I found a couple of cute tops, and a really nice long grey draped sweater, missing the belt, but the loop holes were threads, so I could cut them. I got up to the register, and couldn't find my wallet. Gah! Where was my wallet! I had switched everything else into the new bag (phone, comb, pen, shopping bag, etc.)! So I apologized, and left the stuff behind. I got home, and it was on my computer. Duh, I had activated a new ATM the prior night, and my insomnia made me space on putting it back in my purse.



So I was annoyed, but fine. Finally at about 2pm, I was able to fall asleep. I woke up with another migraine. That lasted all day Wednesday. I still tried to dress like a reasonable person, although I am clearly deteriorating. That is a black tshirt, with fleece pajama bottoms, and Eggplant heathered draped cardigan. I was cold, which is common with migraine. DH was running around nude most of the evening.



So I debated whether to post this next picture or not. It is of me today, after several days of migraines (with some few hour breaks), and still feeling lousy. I wasn't head-achey when the pic was taken, but it is starting up. October and November are traditionally my worst months. I hate it, because no one believes you can really be THAT sick THAT often, but still look totally fine on the days you aren't sick. I do not deny that I am an inherently lazy person, but I am not so lazy that I like to fake migraines.

Anyway. I decided to post it. The whole long argument I am having with myself in my un-posted blog entry is about this kind of self-image issue. This is a way more hard picture for me to post than of one with or without makeup was. This ensemble is Costco tank top avec Costco fleece pants. The hair is done by my bed.



And my husband still loves me. Who knew?

P.S. Freudian tell of the day: I put "Mothers" as one of my tags. I wrote a half sentence about her in this blog post.

It's a Charity Thing

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This is D.C., and myself at a fund raising event for the Humane Society of the Silicon Valley. It was held by "It's a Girl Thing," and "Mandarin Chili." There were raffles, and Chinese snacks, and a red velvet cake contest.

I found I am not a huge red velvet cake, fan, however. The Chinese food was good though. And I won a $25 gift certificate to an Afghani restaurant in Campbell. Plus I got to speak with D.C. for a couple of hours. Fun.

So what did I wear? Well, for one thing, I wore makeup.

Here you get a truncated peek at the green empire waist short-sleeved cardigan top I got at Goodwill. I wore that with a cotton a line skirt, with brown on brown polka-dot embossing, and two rows of very tight ruffles, separated by some brown lace: That I got at the Merry Go Round in Menlo Park. That is where I got my green wool looped fabric purse, too.

The brown of the fabric of the skirt had a green under-tone, so it went well. I wore a long pearl and gold bead chain necklace, and brand new Bandolino dance heel height, back leather, mary janes (both GW purchases). My earrings, which were purple shell daisy dangle earrings I bought from IAGT, aren't visible in any of the pictures, but they picked up the purple beading in the green, floral headband I wore. Enica at Eni-thing made the headband herself.

This blurry picture of me on my bed, was my attempt to get the whole outfit. Yes, the room is a mess, and the we took the closet doors off.



Earlier in the day, I went and bought a black and nude Wacoal brand bras. Also some thigh highs, and a bra strap snap-holder.

I stopped at MAC Cosmetics, and got an eyebrow pencil, but found out they didn't carry the glitter I lusted after in the store, so I ordered it online today. It's 3D silver, the same color as NakedJen uses at the fair, and for which I got so many compliments.



NakedJen bought me the eyebrow pencil as well, but I may have ruined it, hmmmm.

I also "snuck" into Lush, where I got more of their awesome AOBF cleanser, a solid hair conditioner, and a facial mask, as well as some samples. A couple of Lush tins, too. The conditioner is unbelievable, and the AOBF cleanser is eerily good, I feel as if I tricked my skin into changing completely, being brain washed by the cleanser. :lol:

Today was a much more casual day. Even though it was Friday, DH was home because of a brief seizure. I went over to the dispensary to get medication for DH and myself, and then while I had planned to go out for sushi, hunger beat me to dinner, so we went to the Country Inn Cafe

so I wore a cerulean v-neck tshirt, and over the tshirt, when it cooled off, I wore a cropped washable shirt-style leaf-green suede jacket. With that, I wore light blue knit capris (pretty ugly ones), abd my less clunky gray birkenstock sandals.



I "pulled it together" with some bracelets, including the one I just got from IAGT, a plain silver bracelet, with sequin bangles, combined with a crystal and a rhinestone one, very sparkly. Not to mention, an inlay pendant by a famous Navajo artist, Jimmy King, Jr., and some silver sunflower earrings.







I also wore a kanazashi hair pin in my braid. Oh, I had it covered. From head. to. toe.

I want to go out tomorrow and do a little thrift shopping. I guess we will have to see how late I sleep, she said at 4:15AM.

The other news of the day is that my application is off to Oaksterdam University, the cannabis industry trade school founded in Oakland, CA. I am doing that the weekend of 11/13/10, I am so looking forward to it.

Other than that, I am spinning my wheels. I would love to get a good hypo-manic wing under my sails, so that I would start cleaning, but if I could control my moods so easily, I wouldn't be medically ill, correct?

The week long blog discussion of makeup opened up an approach or me. Writing about this sort of topic is much more soothing than the sturm und drang that is my standard weltschmertz. Appearances have been on my mind. Physical, social, psychological, etc. I think this is the approach I am taking. What does normal look like?

This is something I have spent my entire life trying to figure out, aided merely by the clearly questionable information I receive from my "elders" and "betters."

Maybe a thrift shop habit will be therapeutic. It could happen.