First things first. I just have one outfit, from last Tuesday, Nov. 2. That day was the day of the election, and DH and I went to vote shortly after 8. I wore my vintage red crinkled maxi-skirt, with my olive green, mandarin collared blouse, with 3/4's length sleeves, and with a similar crinkle to the material of the skirt. Those are the ubiquitous black penny loafer mules again.
For accessories, I wore a signed Navajo silver animal totem necklace. The earrings are the little stone turtle-ish earrings, one of the few pair of posts I have purchased since I developed a nickel allergy. I even have a barely there rash along my glass stems, because they are metal. So that was an annoying allergy to develop in midlife, as it eliminated a lot of the costume jewelry that I, as a gypsy princess, love to wear.
Finally, I wore a bobby pin with a flower made of antique silk and wool (you can see a plaid on the wool) with a vintage button for the center. Very cute, another Wychbury purchase. Yes, that little craft business appears to hold me firmly by the short hairs.
After voting, I drove DH to work, since I had a neurology appointment in Palo Alto anyway. I already had awoken with a minor headache, and had thought about canceling my neurology appointment, but since I had to drop DH off at work in Menlo Park anyway, I decided to tough it out. So I stopped for a quick breakfast at Hobee's, then shopped a bit at Sur la Table. There I found a candy thermometer, which I actually did need: I had not been able to try a couple of candy recipes in the last few months because I never bought one. I always used my mother's. I also got this silicone mini mitt pot holder, which is awesome, and of which I intend to buy more of. I was able to easily lift a very heavy Le Creuset roasting pan, with a very secure feeling grip. I am probably going to use it as a stocking stuffer this year.
My neurology appointment was essentially a bust. Plus ça change, plus c'est le meme chose. He acknowledged that we are pretty helpless right now, so we are once again raising my propranolol. I won't see him until next year, and I am hoping it will be working by then. If it doesn't work, we are not able to go higher than my current dosage, as it would probably make me develop brachycardia, and become hypo-tensive. It looks like my pulse has adjusted to the previous dose, rising from about 52-4 beats per minute, to 69 beats per minute.
Just for the hell of it, I stopped at Kara's Cupcakes, which is in the shopping center abutting the medical clinic I use, and bought a dozen mini-cupcakes. I got Java, Meyer lemon filled, and banana carmel. Oh. My. God. That banana caramel is evil, it is sooooo good. By now, my head was really starting to hurt, and I wanted to just go home, but I decided I better stop at Lucky to pick up my new script, while I was up and about. But as usual, I hit them during their lunch hour, and they were closed. I was starting to feel too awful to stay.
So that evening was a bad evening, but cleared up before bedtime. When I woke up on Wednesday, however, I had THE WORST headache. It went on and on. It was horrible. The third day I still hadn't been able to eat, but I couldn't stop vomiting. Finally, I went to bed Thursday night, with the help of some Lorazepam (brand name Ativan). I woke up Friday without a headache, but it crept back over the day. Saturday I was in misery again. I haven't had one one Sunday or Monday, so I kind of feel like I am due one tomorrow. If I don't get one, I will get some mailing done I need to do (return stuff to Nordstrom, mail Sister2's birthday gift, and pick up a couple of bong slides, as both of ours broke from becoming brittle. Two of them, within 24 hours, not dropping them, or anything.
But one of my migraine patterns is that the number of migraines starts increasing in October, and then I have one practically every day of November. When I say practically every day, I am talking 5 or 6 days a week. They aren't all the worst migraine I ever had, although half of them are really, really bad, and a couple of them have come close to my top 10-20. I developed intractable (untreatable, or difficult to treat) migraine when I was 12, so I have had 35 years of headaches to work on the "winners" list.
Medical Cannabis has helped, but not always entirely squelched my pain (although it often does). During the 3 day migraine, it helped the first day, made it worse the 2nd day, and really helped the 3rd day, as at that point I was vomiting pretty frequently. A migraine can whoop ANY painkiller's ass, no matter its strength. Cannabis is safe, has not caused a single death in modern medical history, and I cannot overdose. But it doesn't always work. If that happens, I am utterly screwed.
So, ANYWAY, returning to the initial sentence about my hiatus, the first few days after my last post, I felt panicked. I had posted something I should not have. I have a propensity to do this when my mood is screwy. My blogs have caused me problems in the past: Once the problems were with a person who was my friend at the time, L. I blogged about what I (still) believe to be unwise choices on her part. It was truly stupid of me. Not to mention, pot, meet kettle. But I said what I did out of concern for her, although that doesn't mean it was okay to do. I just am saying, contrary to what some people thought, it was not meant maliciously, I was actually blogging about my concern for her. She is no longer my friend, although I hear about her from others. I was surprised to find that I am happier without interacting with this woman, and her circle, when I thought I would be lonely. So while it was upsetting for others, and myself at the time, it ultimately did me good. That didn't make it easier for my then friend to read. But I feel like she has made even worse choices since then, so it is good I am no longer involved with her.
Not to mention, she totally used and abused one of my dearest friends, after screeching foul because she was being held responsible for the consequences of her actions. That did make me feel much less guilty about any upset I had brought to her life with my blog.
The second incident was over a family wedding, BIL2 to my now SIL2. I was a bad actor, I blogged about my distaste for the details of my then soon to be SIL's wedding, especially, what I think were breaches of etiquette, about which I am a bit of a jerk. I also did a character analysis of her that wasn't very flattering. I did call her a Bridezilla, but I had never seen the show, and actually referred to myself as Bridezilla several times in my own planning. That show really found awful women, and I guess my SIL watches a lot of TV. I just repeated what I was told by DH after his conversations he had with his father and sister (SIL!) about it. But my SIL1 wouldn't cop to it, and claimed I was making stuff up. She also told DH he should probably divorce me.
That really, really was over the line, in my opinion. How dare she. She recently sent me a "friend request" on Facebook; I unfriended all my in laws after this because while I performed the precipitating event of the fight, no one would admit I was just repeating what I had been told. SIL1 & BIL1 accused me of lying. I think they just were embarrassed that the gossip obviously arose from discussions SIL1 had with DH and their father. Rather than admit that they were providing the information, which would have infuriated SIL2, they claimed I made shit up.
I agree that I should not have posted things that affected SIL2, I had no right to her story. Which is why I am trying to be careful about overtly exposing others to criticisms or consequences from my blogged outbursts of bad judgement. But I can always delete. SIL1 found my old blog about one day after I started it, and started emailing DH every time she saw something she didn't like, whether or not it had anything to do with the family. No way am I giving her access to this blog.
Anyway, it turns out I was apparently dead right about SIL2, according to SIL1's reports to DH, but she only relayed this to DH, months after the fact. She never apologized for calling me a liar, making fun of my bipolar illness, and urging my husband to divorce me. Now she just says "Let's be friends again, I miss you" in a Facebook message. I do not miss her, nor do I want her to access to my discussions with my friends.
So that's it.
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